Too early for a weekend? I don't think so. I can never comprehend how people wake up so irregularly. Just because it is a weekend doesn't mean you have to remain joined to your bed for as long as you can sustain. Waking up at 12pm has never happened to me before... I just can't wait to get up to do something. Or maybe I would be immensely bored if I were to stay on my bed, staring at my almost white walls.
Can I add that it fascinates me whenever people tell me they will only be up at 11am or even in the late afternoon? I'm sorry but I guess that is why you are fat. You have also wasted the prime period of your entire day. So many things you could have done..... All spent in bed. And it's not even something remotely productive. If you were having hot sex in the morning, then of course it is worth it to have your ass in bed all morning. But if you're just contributing to the carbon dioxide in the air... Suit yourself.
I do admit I do have some inertia in the morning. If I could do anything I wished that day, I'll probably stay in bed for a maximum of an hour. Before getting up to pee or drink a whole glass of warm water.
The problem with waking up so early is that the sun would not be enough for me to do reading. This is especially true as the square window right beside my bed only shows sun whenever it's 7+. This irks me... Because the only thing I could do then is to twiddle my thumbs. Or stone. So I got outta bed and woke my parents up; this is something uncharacteristic for me to do but I was so bored today I couldn't help myself.
By this time it's already 715 and the sun would already be up. So I continued with confessions of a sociopath.
I realise that I take a lot longer for non-fiction books than fiction. Probably it takes more effort to understand and change my perspective to the author's. But in a narrative, it is so easy to be taken away on a whirlwind of adventures and crippling situations leaving the soul wanting for more; I take less than a day to finish a good novel.
In non-fiction, it is more of comprehending circumstances that the author is relating to the reader. Additionally, I indeed want to get the most out of all my books, so I probably read non-fic slower than anyone.
In the book, the author mentioned about how manipulative she was as a child. How easily she saw through how power flowed within cliques and how she managed to infiltrate within cliques despite feeling like an outsider. She was and is a good faker. She faked emotions to become socially acceptable. But the main thing about this is that she knew she was different.
This resonated within me, because as a child, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. Like her, I had an outsider's view of things and cliques. I understood how to manipulate my peers and did it well. I stole (relationships and material things), I lied, I got what I wanted.
But then eventually.... I grew out of it. I remember distinctly feeling tired of playing; I remember feeling exhausted toying with emotions of others and being an alpha. This made me think if I was a mini-sociopath. I highly doubt so, but I do not rule it out either.
It is well-known that children are selfish. Perhaps I was more concerned about looking after my own interests and being amused when my peers were so easily manipulated. Adults too. Oh adults... They forget how it is like to view the world in the eyes of a child, and so they give in to my childish disturbances. I vividly remember feeling glee whenever I successfully gained the belief of an adult. Well, a lie is not a lie without someone believing it.
Perhaps I was a more self serving and mad child.
I recall being a rowdy child. I would be the greatest disturbance in class. I would make all the boys cry. I would laugh and make fun of the insecurities of others. It is not that I am unaware they would feel hurt... I rejoiced when I knew I would have control of someone whenever I found out their insecurities. But I was not unpopular. I was never in the popular clique, but I made friends with the relatively higher alphas in the school. Other than that, I had no innate desire to stick to any clique at all. I was mostly alone because I chose to.
Have I earned your disgust just yet?
Don't worry. I like to think that I am still capable of such terrible acts now if I wanted to. But I don't. I have no desire to stir such trouble.
I am more empathetic now. I show kindness to people to deserve them. I love. I feel. I am no longer the troublesome child I was. Although the level of rebellion has never once diminished, I know what is socially acceptable and I adhere to it.
By the way, all these stopped when I was 13. From this time on, I found amusement whenever people hated me. I thrived on negative attention. Freaking weird, I know. Now... I can't say if I even like attention.
This book has opened up more memories about my childhood than I never expected it to. Honestly speaking... If my child were to be like me, I would be afraid.
Then I lazed around and took a series of naps because everything was so friggin' boring. In case you did not know, the wifi in my house has been down since..... Tuesday? I have no idea. I thought it would be alright in a few days but guess what. Surprise surprise, the inefficiency of Singtel and opennet has arised again, and I think that only after I fly off then the internet would be working again. Pffft.
Maybe this is a sign to me that I should do other things than surfing social networking platforms all the time... Or reading trash on the internet. I should really be thankful that this has allowed me to focus on more things (reading, packing my messy as hell study room and my luggage =_=) other than the distractions that the internet offers.
Did I mention that biology notes are a bitch to pack??? I have zero idea if I should group the tutorials with the lecture notes or separate them. I'm at a loss. For chemistry, organisation was a complete breeze! But for biology, everything is just a mess. But there is always order in chaos, and that shall be my mantra for now.
This is the second time Daddy has had a horrible lower back ache. I hope he gets better soon. He should really do yoga to relief the tension in his muscles... Maybe I should sign up for hot yoga? It seems enticing, but knowing how fickle I am and how inconvenient it would probably be, this thought most probably won't come to fruition, no matter how much I wish it would.
On a separate thought, I hope I won't freeze to death there or die of a whooping cough eliminating all the cilia in my respiratory tract.
jaslynnxxx
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