I wonder how has 2013 been for all of you who are reading this. Has it been boring? Uneventful? Dramatic? Lovely? Stressful?
I guess there is no one way to categorise how a year has been. On twitter and tumblr everyone's lamenting about how stupid and horrible 2013 was, and how 2014 will be the same ol' thing all over again. Honestly I get really fed up when I see such posts because I'm sure lovely things have happened during the course of the year too. Won't life seem much rosier and better if you focus on the good things that happened? Instead of letting negativity and dreariness wear you down, concentrate on the good things in life and then at least, you will have something to feel grateful for.
I will never forget what Laura sent me when I was feeling my shittiest during this year. She sent me this
From then on, whenever I felt horrible or sad or just down, I will look back at this. This reminds me to look back on the good and not dwell on the bad, and I think everyone should have such a mindset too! After all, it is better to be swimming in optimism and positivity, rather than hopelessness and depression. So thank you Laura, for being there for me without complaints even when I was feeling sad about a stupid ass boy who made me feel like crap. Thank you for constantly reminding me how Vomit inducing he is and thank you for helping me get over this extremely stupid (and funny, now that I think about it) period of my life.
Honestly 2013 has been very very very good to me.
I was posted to a Junior College filled with nerdy geeky weird but more importantly, genuinely nice people.
I made good friends and some I know will be there in my life for a very long time.
I got the exact subject combination I wanted.
I became more self-aware. And more sensitive to the feels of others.
I finally felt at peace with myself, despite all the stupid things I have done because of (extremely infrequent but soul changing) visits to the temple. There is just something so powerfully calming and beautiful about Buddha's presence. I honestly never thought religion would have such a great effect on me. But I'm glad it did. When I close my eyes and pray, it's not a shallow level of consciousness I'm at... It's deeper. Gosh I don't know how to explain this but anyone who has a lot of faith will probably understand what I'm speaking about.
I realised how important my family is to me (despite us screaming at each other almost every single day) and how impermanent they are.
I realised how time is precious and that it is slipping from our fingers... But despite this I still procrastinate. Gosh darn it.
And uhm I think I probably found someone who will love me as unconditionally as I will back.
Also, I'd like to say a big thank you to Jazzmin (though I doubt she reads my blog lol). Thank you for sticking by!!! Even when I was totally unreasonable and when you had every single reason in this world to leave me, you never did. And I know you never will. I will never leave you too. Despite everyone whom I thought would be beside me forever (but didn't even last half a year lol), thank you so much for TOLERATING my shit ass nonsense, giving me perfectly rational advice, making sure I was still down to earth, having my back and encouraging me in whatever I want to do, giving me reality checks now and then, making me laugh like a fucking mad woman when I'm feeling sad and also, your unconditional and bountiful love that I never knew I could ever receive from a person. Thank you so fucking much and I love you so much I think I'm going to cry k so moving on
Maybe one day I'll look back at all these. Maybe I'll cringe at how embarrassing I am/was. Maybe I won't be able to bear how stupid my past self was. But no matter what kind of memories they are, memories are memories. They wont ever change. They are part of us, and will never leave.
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Resolutions oh resolutions...
I wonder what resolutions I made for this year.. Because I forgot.
We never stick to them, aye? But at least we try. Maybe we didnt strike off everything in that list... But we tried. I think trying to be a better person is better than not doing any thing at all.
My resolutions are probably these
// Spend more time with my maternal grandma. I have a feeling she wont last through this year and it makes me really sad.
// Be more consistent with my studies. I hope this year will be a year where I REALLY study. Know all my content. Know how to apply the content. Do all my homework with pride. Clarify doubts. Do whatever I can to get As. I don't want to fuck my A levels up, and having relied on pure luck for so long, I should work hard for a change.
// Spend more time with the people who are worth it. People who have proven me that are worth the time and effort. I have the tendency to neglect old friends and ugh yea I can't stand myself too.
// Be a more responsible class leader. Honestly I think Ms Tay only made me the class leader so that the people filling up positions won't be all foreigners. But I promise to do my best for the class this year because they are a bunch of lovely people and I love my class a lotttt.
// Read more. Juggle time between people, homework and hobbies, to be more exact. Yes I'm a bookworm. And I love a good story.
// Be more active. Although I may be born skinny.... This crazy metabolism wont go any faster with age and my mad eating habits and potato lifestyle.
// Stay positive. And optimistic. I have a very bad gravitation towards negativity... But I need to snap out of it faster. Ain't nobody got time fo' dat.
// Be less argumentative. Yeah, probably good for my GP essays... BUT HORRIBLE FOR MY INTER PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS. But this is probably the only way I find out who is suitable to be my friend. urgh contradictory but I'll promise to try to tone my loud and insensitive mouth down.
// Care for my skin a little more. TLC, baby. Dry stuff ain't sexayyy
// Get organised. Probably the hardest thing to fulfil in this list... since I'm so fucking messy. Am I even a girl?!
// Read news. But not shallow reading. Like in-depth. Know exactly what in the world happened. The causes. The effects. Everything that gave birth to the headlines.
that's all I guess? abrupt aye.
But its 1130 and I haven't bathed!!
Thank you to the people who read my blog and hmm.. Maybe tell me you read my blog some time when you see me. Although I'll feel extremely awkward but it's kinda nice to know people actually read my nonsense ahahha. I actually feel grateful though, that someone gives enough shit to read my ramblings. I also hope I made you smile!!!
kthxbye
jaslynnxxx
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