January is coming to an end soon, and I haven't really gotten back on track academically.
I haven't found time for anyone else outside my immediate circle of friends. Call me an asshole but I feel like most of the people I interact with are people who are convenient for me.
But isn't it always like this? We say we are going to hang out soon but it never or hardly happens. Mostly because of the mental energy of meeting up and distance of the other person is from us physically. Maybe we will keep up in the form of text messaging, but how will we ever find time to see the other person properly?
The main thing is not time. It's managing time.
We all have the same 24 hours a day. It's how we choose to use the time given to us. And honestly, I am a really good procrastinator. I hardly get things done beforehand and then all this dwindling gets into the way of the actual task. It's so horrible... I have piles of homework left and so little time to spend with the people who matter to me. I haven't seen Jazzmin since last year September I believe T_T and Jiahui since October or something???? Oh god.
Anyway, my social circle is getting smaller and smaller, which I think is good anyways. Because I have filtered out the people whom I really care about from the people who are no more different than the wind. Sometimes they are here, sometimes they are not. And maybe the weather forecast says the wind will he here but of course, it isn't.
Instead of investing in a few people who are... Not my type of friends or won't really give a damn about me, I think investing all my time in people whom I have assurance with is more worth it.
And then homework... Sigh I have a really bad attitude towards it. I really want to clear that pile. But then it keeps building up. And up. And up. I try, but of course my attempts are never enough. I guess I'm lucky to have a bf who cares about work more than I do (and finished Alkenes tutorial in 2 fking hours) but then I'm so easily distracted and playful. It sucks. I suck. Ugh.
How can anyone just put down their phone and concentrate on their work??? HOW?? My attention span is probably 5 minutes wtf and then I'll have to check my phone or whatever. Horrid horrid habit.
I hope I can get my shit together by the end of feburary, which I kinda doubt. But I'm hopeful and I have faith that I probably will finish half that load! I really hope so.
So far the year has been a really positive one n_n
I have no more need for toxic people, and surround myself with friends I truly enjoy hanging out with. This is the life that I have always always wanted.
(But then again I better sort out my shit ugh)
jaslynnx
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