Or maybe, this morning technically. But it doesn't matter.
I dreamt that for some reason I was at Priyanngah's house. And that P and S were there too. They were playing with some other people..? I think so.
The moment I saw then both I felt so sad.
Really fucking sad. I started crying in my dream. Crying so much that I could hardly see.
Crying so hard that eventually everyone left the took without saying a word.
Crying so hard that I could hardly open my eyes.
In the dream they added me into a whatsapp chat but I quit it immediately. Realising that they won't make any effort to continue reaching out to me, I cried till I could hardly breathe and stumbled out of the room and house. Then idk why but the scene changed to P's house instead.
To get out I had to lock and unlock the door.. But it was a teary mess.
When I made it outside, I tried to hard to lock the damn door.
Then suddenly someone emerged from the kitchen and sat down at a chair facing the metal gate. I thought it was P but then that person was just staring at me, impassive. I tried to open my eyes a little wider to look, but it was so difficult,
I woke up.
I guess you can say that I miss them.
But do I really miss them? Or do I just miss the times with them?
I've changed, they've changed, everything has changed.
No one bothers anymore.
No matter how many times I think about them it will never be the same again.
People come and people go...
People stay and people leave.
All that is left unchanging are the shards of memories that show laughter, pain, sadness, anger and love.
But things will never be the same again
And maybe it is time to let go.
jaslynnxxx
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