Bye bye

I suddenly feel very blessed.

Blessed to have the people who weren't meant to be in my life leave. Instead of being bitter... Perhaps it is time to appreciate it. Look at the bigger picture. They left for a reason. Whatever the reason is, it isn't important. Because in the grand scheme of things, they were not meant to be. Like a puzzle piece you hang onto too long, but only to realise that they don't fit anywhere, and that the picture wasn't what is on those out of place pieces. 

Things will become more lovely. They have to be. 

When things are at it's worst, the only way to go is well, better. 

I opened my eyes. I know I have people more worthy of being my friends. Like what Lisa said, I don't deserve this. I don't deserve your random ass bitch attitudes. I don't deserve your non existent respect for HUMANS in general and respect for friendships of others. I don't deserve people who value convenience more than a bond that is stretched over distance but was still alright. 

Instead of saying I don't deserve this, I should say YOU don't deserve ME. 

I crossed puddles of water and walked in the rain to see you.

You said you'd cross puddles of shit water for me.

You know what? I never believed that for one second. What I'm saying is true, and the moment you texted me that, I knew that it's a bold faced lie.

So fuck you and your lying mouth, stupid crusty nipple. 

I have other people to care for. I have Jessica whom I know will be there for me no matter what and assures me that im worth her time and life. I have Gideon who makes stupid jokes and listens to all my problems. I have Lisa who is miss super positive and never fails to infect me with her energy. I have Jerrold who is really lame and punny and caring. Last but definitely not the least, I have Brandon who loves me (and I love him so much too). He treats me like a princess (which is actually really bad lol) and makes me laugh with his lame ass jokes n_n he listens to all my problems and cares for me to the best of his ability. Reminding me to sleep.. Helping me w homework.. Reminding me to apply medicine.. 

Although I do not have a lot of people, it's okay. What matters is that I care for them, and they care for me. What matters is that they keep their promises. What matters is that they respect me as a human. What matters is that they respect friendships and know how to treat people right. 

I'm sure they won't be so childish to use another person's acc and ruin a friendship that was perfectly alright.. And I have to thank my ratchet mouth for giving me the strength I always had to call out on people's bulshit. 

If it's bull, it's bull. There's no hiding it. No hiding what kind of heart there is under the skin. 

I will remember that I loved you, because I really did. I will remember all you did to me so I will never do it to anyone else. I will remember all the hurt and pain I felt so I will not subject anyone else to such hurt. 

Thank you for teaching me how not to inflict unnecessary pain on people, and to respect people. 

Thank you for getting out of my life. 

jaslynnxxx