It suddenly occurred to me today about how happy my life actually is. I wake up everyday looking forward to living. I am happy everyday. Truly, genuinely happy. Such joy... I don't know how to describe. Such joy I once thought of it being transient... Is now sustained. It stays. It never leaves me, even when I'm alone. When I'm tired, a dark cloud just sits atop of my mind. I no longer feel sad when I'm tired, and never tired when I'm sad. These two feelings are finally separated. It seems like this dark cloud just stops my ability to think about anything negative. To not wander into the dark depths of my Wonderland, but to stay on the bright and cheery side. I like this feeling, and I hope it never goes away.
And now my tolerance for stupidity has went to all time low. I'm sure that in life, there are bound to be people who dislike you. These people may or may not have a "problem" with you- sometimes you just dislike a person because of who they are. Due to this dislike, you do not associate yourself with them. You may ridicule them for the stupid things they do. They may hate you because you ridicule them- angry, even. But so what? Life goes on, I'm happy with or without your existence. You CHOSE to anger yourself by reading this space. This space where it's MINE. So if you don't like what you read, then good riddance.
And isn't it really hypocritical? You can bitch and I can't? I'm sure that you have said many many nasty things about others too. We are not saints. At least I admit that I am a bitch, and not a piece of self-righteous filth.
Yes, I am a bitch. So? I have known this since I was 6.
I am mean. So? I have known this since I was 7, when I made the entire class hate this girl because she annoyed me. She had no friends for 2 weeks and now thinking back I'm pretty sorry oops.
I am annoyingly straightforward. So? I have known this since I was 14, when I made the somewhat most popular girls in my school hate me because of some things I have said about them (and I have not and will not apologise, because I still believe my stand is right. Obviously now past is past and I doubt they even remember hahah).
I get into trouble really easily. Just because I say stupid things that are not meant to be taken seriously, or things that are so fucking true that some people just can't handle. Wellll that is your problem. It's not mine.
I'm suddenly reminded of the time when I was 16, and the entire school literally hated me because I offended some big bitches (again hahah). But at least they were of a certain... Standard. The people that I heard hate me recently are like... *I literally thought of something to describe them for 5 mins but I just can't. so insignificant wtf*.
Ah, a loophole. Since I said they are insignificant, why such a long paragraph about the situation?
Because it affected me. For 10 minutes. Of course upon hearing of someone's dislike for me, I will feel incredulous/sad/whatever. But then, it occurred to me that those people are really nothing. NOTHING, as compared to the people who are always by my side. NOTHING, as compared to the joy and unlimited laughter I get everyday from the people I love. NOTHING, as compared to the ridiculously comfortable life I have.
I particularly love this section of the poem Body Electric:
I sing the body electric,
The armies of those I love engirth me and I engirth them,
They will not let me off till I go with them, respond to them,
And discorrupt them, and charge them full with the charge of the soul.
Say thank you to Whitman for this loveliness.
No, I do not feel any hate or whatever negative emotion for them. I just think that they are really 無聊.
And ah, I have to make it clear that I am not talking about anyone in particular. But if the shoe fits... Then suit yourself. I must repeat that you made a choice to read this. I did not force you. In addition, if you were rational enough to read properly, you would have noticed that I did not insult anyone in any way. Most of those were GENERAL THOUGHTS. If you are still mad (at god knows what), then it is really your business. At least I tried to use logic and not random ass emotion. Don't forget to say Hi to me when we meet in the toilet.
Now that we have got that out of the way.... ALSKDJFHG I always get insanely happy when I view my photos hahahahha
Some inside joke which I will never stop laughing at.
With Irmalisaaaaaaaaa. I love her to bits. This was before promotional exams I think??? I have zero idea.
Being a freaking reckless and very I-do-whatever-I-want bitch, I decided that I wanted bangs on the third of october, 30 minutes before going out to meet Jazzmin for ultra late lunch.
Whenever we meet up, we never ever run out of things to say. When we are silent, it is never a silence of awkwardness. It's a comfortable silence which I love and will never give up for anything else in the world.
Probably how I will look 10 years later HAHHA what a weird ass face I'm making. But the main point is the HAIR. It was so nice and dolly that day yay. Oh this was when I was out with Jiahui and the two obnoxious and rich assholes. Being rich does not give you an excuse to be an asshole, because if I remember correctly, money does not entitle you to over ride any basic etiquettes of being human. Why don't I shove the entire bundle of fifty dollar notes I have somewhere, up your ass?
Found the top I saw everywhere on the freaking internet but it was size L. I should have bought it and altered it to make it a dress or something SIGH.
Tuna plus bacon pasta. The most disgusting shit I have ever eaten. I have decided to never eat any other tuna other than fresh, raw tuna wtf. It smelled so fishy and gross, but I finished it anyway.
After going to Priya's house to cheer her up! I watched the conjuring, and honestly, it wasn't even a bit scary. What was more scary was when these three idiots came to scare me wtf.
Busy being a ratchet ass on the bus.
It was really nice being with them after so so so so so so so long @_@
*I'm listening to the gazette now and oh dear my love for them has rekindled /SCREAMS WITH RUKI/ SEXUAL DISGRACE* (song lyrics hahha)
JC2 Farewell performance with Tzesian, Lucas and Erica :D It was such a weird but fun experience. LURRRRVE IT
Mister Jin making his appearance in my camera roll again.
Oh we haven't spoke a lot recently though. I think it's due to all the really shitty OP stuff going on...
Just wanted to adjust my annoying baby hairs and he appears hahah so snap snap HAHAH
Omegle nonsense with Shivaa and Lisa :D
They both look so seductive hahhah I cannot stop looking.
This is what happens when you wanna fake kiss someone but can't stop laughing. You get a constipated face LOL.
Asked my sister to help me apply lotion and got a free massage slash tickle session lol
Most hardworking student of all time - Jerrold
Sleeping away during chinese class
Photobooth time with Mister Jin's Mac
It was interesting at first but then it became so boring
I can has big eyes
I can has botched nose job
I can has alien head
Ok enough with annoying lol-speak hahah
Bad romance ewwwww
K . O .
Found the lotion I used to LOVE so much when I was a kid! I always used only the size of half a pea whenever I apply because I loved it so much and did not want it to run out. So now after.... 10 years it still has like half of the tube left OOPS. Yes I threw it away.
creeping up on Benn yesterday.
THEN.... SNAPCHAT FUN HAHAHHAHAHAHA
Shivaa said she can't be seen wtf
FAVE PHOTO LIKE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER I LOVE THEM SO MUCH LOL
It was Clarissa's birthday.
Clarissa's birthday surprise went really well! And I almost burst the ballon because I let it fly too high and it hit the fan ._. But it didn't burst!!! Epitome of resilience HAHAH
And I'm sorry Jerrold, But this is too epic to handle. Don't worry, you still look hot.
jaslynnxxx
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