Reila + 011113

The part where Ruki whispers "Reila" is the most beautiful sound on this Earth. Also, the day I can play the guitar like Uruha or Aoi is the day I die and become an entity.

ANYWAY.
I love the weather that has been going on for the past week! The skies have become more grey in the late afternoon, turning into a lovely shade of cobalt during evenings. Accompanied with the cooling effect of the rain.... Ah... Such bliss. See, that's why November & December are my favourite months. The weather is not being a ratchet mess, aka HOT AND EWK.
Additionally, I do not care if the rain never stops and floods the land. I DO NOT CARE.
Who cares about flood when it would be cold and nippy instead of hot and humid. Seriously guys, stop complaining about the rain. What if the Gods hear you and decide not to bestow any rain anymore T___T
My tears will then flood the land.

It was really nice being in the company of Irmalisa. Her presence makes me so comfortable and we can seriously talk about any god damn shiz in the world. Although I shouldn't talk to her so much when I'm doing my work, because then we would end up discussing on our views on soul mates, stupid love or some other nonsense in general. Then Shivaa would be so high and high and even higher than some marijuana smoker ._. I get so afraid LOL After, I would spend time with Laura, which is a really really nice way to end the day because it is comfortable company too. Oh gosh, I feel like crying now.

I haven't felt so grateful in my life ever since this time of year last year. I think it's the weather.
For this entire year I've been so negative and negative and NEGATIVE due to the nonsense that plagued me since the start. Then negativity attracted more negativity. And whoa la, horrible shit happens. But of course there are some really nice things that happened too. It's just that my mind decides to harp on the bad things that happened... Stupid brain.

Some times I think that I do not deserve all the wonderful things I have in my life. I have really lovely friends, superb parents (despite me screaming at them all the time, I like to think that our relationship is awesome because when I speak to them it is almost like speaking to any one of my friends yey), a really idiotic sister who brings me joy, and everything I ever want.
I think I am not a good person. I have never been, actually. Being mean to everyone and all. However, one thing that I dare say is that I am extremely devoted to the people who I love. I really am willing to do anything for my friends (from the second to first tier) and my family. Like literally anything. If one day I was told that I would have to die to save one of them I won't even need to think twice about it.
But this may also stem from my belief that my life is really quite worthless. So if I can use it to supplement another's life (which I view has more worth than mine) I would gladly do it. Does it sound twisted? I hope not.

In other news, Project Work and friendship issues have been sapping ALL of my energy. Okay to be crude, project work is akin to my constipation. A PAIN IN THE BUTT.
And friendship issues... Hmmm I think I don't even give half a shit any more. Apparently one of my friends said that I "fuck care" about this whole situation already. Which is so true because I can't be bothered. Both of them always always always always fight and to me, it is almost like things will iron out for them ultimately and my intervention is not needed. So obviously I "fuck care" luh hahah.

Also, playing the ukulele is so fun :D and so much easier than the guitar (oops). Today when Gideon was teaching me the chords for A I messed up not once, not twice, but THRICE wtf. I think I'm blind and have the memory capacity of a bacteria cell. Other than that, it was really fun n_n
I especially like it when he plays and sings because then I just have to listen lol

Okay today is lovely.
It seems like I have to remind myself of how lovely each day is so that I would cherish it more. Am I dying? What's with all these oddly optimistic feelings though. (Although I really think my end is near and I will either die from flu or dengue.)

jaslynnxxx